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The Wisdom of a Hillbilly
by: Robert Edgar Burns

I really ain’t no hillbilly.
I never say ya’all!
But come and see me later,
To hear my “souey” call !

Hey, what’s the middle finger made for?
You know, it’s always bare.
Unless it’s covered by a glove
Or you’re sticking it somewhere.

Now you may think it stuck up,
If you see it anywhere.
But don’t take it too personal,
It’s just looking for some fresh air.

Don’t look in the shower,
For I'm sure I will be bare.
I’ll only have my birthday suit,
It’s all there was to wear.

If you happen still to see me,
I hope that you will know.
I won’t be foaming at the mouth,
It’s just soap from head to toe.

When I finally go to rinse off,
And I splash you in the face,
I told you not to look in there,
Please just go some other place.

Go out and sit with Granny.
Or play checkers with my Paw.
But if you itch and scratch your back,
Don’t use that dead bear claw!

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